In the time that I have known him, some 25 or more years
now, he has given me jobs working as his assistant in interior design and been a mentor to me, introduced me to an amazing
clothing designer who not only blessed me with wonderful clothing but made it
possible for me to travel to Paris not once but twice and experience fashion
week in the midst of a couture house, has taken me on vacation to Miami and Fire
Island, has provided me with countless dinners and lunches, shared clothing
of his own, made me a bedspread of high quality printed linen, gave me a rug - and not just any rug - he gave it to me for the apartment I was living in at the time, and my landlord liked it so much he took it home; gave me my first lap top computer at a time when practically no one
had lap tops because of the cost, took me to movies, opened his home to me for
readings of my plays for exclusive invited audiences, and has taken photographs
of me over the years that I have used for everything from headshots to modeling
to bio pages in magazines. One of his photos is the one I use for this blog. Another time when I was at the end of my own finances and had gone through hell in a relationship, he hired a stylist and took photos of me, making me princess for a day, pampering me and making me feel like I was special and loved. I
don’t usually like photographs that are taken of me, but he’s got an eye that
can make even the most annoying quirks of my face seem somehow softened, and
the things that I least like when I look in the mirror have character.
If I had to put a price tag on all of the things that my
friend has given me, if I included the time and the love and the support, I’d
have to say like the credit card ad, “Priceless.” When I add into that the counsel and insight
and wisdom he shares on everything from family to friends to love to work to philosophy
of life, if he ever presented me with a doctor’s bill I’d never be able to pay
it. When I looked up the meaning of his name – and no, I won’t tell you his
name because I believe in respecting people’s privacy – it means “well born,
noble.” I think that is a nice beginning to what and who he is, but there is so
much more.
There are people who go quietly about their business, and
their business involves helping other people to grow and thrive and be nourished
and loved. They don’t put on a big show about it, they don’t say, “Hey, I did
that for you, now you owe me,” they don’t say, “I made you what you are! You’d
be nothing without me!” or "I picked you up when you were down, what are you going to do for me?" But they could say those things because they're true. They go about
their business of giving of themselves in a cheerful way, acting as if it’s
just something that is easy for them to do and yet when you realize the extent
of what they’ve done and for how many people, it’s much more than just a little
bit of something they happen to have some spare time for. Other people who give
half as much, or even a small fraction, will act like martyrs and want
recognition and praise, but these cheerful givers just do and do and do for
other people, and sometimes don’t even get any thanks at all.
2 Corinthians 9:7 says, “God loves a cheerful giver,” and
often this is used to encourage people to give financially in church, to tithe
and give offering. But what about in our daily lives? There can be a big show
going on at church about who is giving what, but what about when you walk out
of the door? The whole passage of that scripture reads, “Each of you should
give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under
compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” In the book of Revelation, God makes it clear to us that we are not to take his words out of context.
When we do that, we lose something very deep in the meaning. Sometimes when
people are tithing or the offering basket is being passed around, people feel
that they must give, even if they feel they don’t have enough for themselves or
their families. The real meaning of this passage as I read it, is that we
should feel comfortable in our own heart when we give – that we are not doing
it because we feel we must or that other people expect us to, but because it’s
what is on our heart to do. God is not about forcing people to do things for
other people, and He’s definitely not about putting on a show of giving just to
prove how great we are. Generosity and being a giver are gifts
and fruit of the Spirit, and because they are, we can always tell when the
giver is giving cheerfully or when there is another motive.
My friend is a cheerful giver – that is a gift he has and a fruit
of the Spirit that refreshes and nourishes others. As I write this an image
comes to mind of a day when I had been working at a health fair in the Bronx,
and the church I was working with gave me a gigantic fruit basket to bring
home. I don’t drive, so I was taking the subway and then another train, and
then walking about two miles home. I must have made quite a sight bearing this
basket of fruit, bearing fruit of all colors and sizes and shapes as I made my
way home. When we give in the way that my friend does, that is the image that
God sees – a cornucopia of colors and shapes and sizes of all of the people we’ve
reached out to in love and helped take another step forward.
I pray for my friend always – I pray for all of my friends,
and even people I don’t know - whoever God puts on my heart to pray for. But my
special prayer for this friend is that he could see himself as God sees him,
and know how much he has blessed God by
being His hand extended. Jesus tells us in Matthew 25:40 that “whatever you did
for the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” My prayer
for my friend is that he would know that even if he never hears it from any of
us ungrateful humans, God says thank you.Blessings,
Jannie Susan
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