When I was thinking about what to write this week, I remembered that it is Labor Day on Monday, and that means it is the anniversary of sorts for this blog. I started writing this section subtitled "An Abundant Life" on Labor Day in 2015, and there have been so many beautiful adventures ever since. As I thought about what or who to write about this week, I began to think about my mother, and somehow that seems like the right person to write about because so much of who I am is because of her.
My mother came to Sarah Lawrence College from Briarcliff High School. A teacher who recognized her as a star student in a description that would follow her all her life recommended her for one of the scholarships available to top students from Westchester County, and the trajectory of her life was changed. The daughter of parents who, though they had a love of the arts and education, had not had the opportunity to attend college, she had a love of learning and reading, and a yearning for something greater than the small though beloved community she grew up in. She met my father’s brother at a mixer between Sarah Lawrence and Yale, and met my father at a party at their family home in Harrison. My mother, a mixture of Grace Kelly, Ingrid Bergman and Greta Garbo, and my father with the looks of a young Paul Newman and a touch of F. Scott Fitzgerald and Hemingway added in fell in love immediately and were a romantic and enviable couple, and young as they were, they wanted to set up house immediately and start their life together. But in another life-changing moment, my mother’s advisors at Sarah Lawrence encouraged her to finish her degree, though in those days it wasn’t seen by many people as a necessity for a woman to have a college education. It was because of those far-seeing and caring people that my mother was able to stay on campus to finish her degree and also marry my father and begin a family with him while he worked toward his own degree at Yale and then, when they were able to move into an apartment in New York City, he went on to Columbia University.
My childhood home was full of books, art, music and design. It was also full of conversation, and it was a place where children were encouraged to be seen and heard. I learned from an early age how to read, creating difficulty for my teachers when I started first grade a year early and they asked my parents to stop teaching me so much at home. Later, after I, as the youngest, was old enough to be left alone after school, my mother returned to college to gain her Masters Degree and then her Doctorate, and went on to work as a sociologist and researcher first at Boston Children’s Hospital and then Harvard University’s School of Public Health. She worked until she was in her 70’s, and was a respected and well loved colleague and professional whose contributions were described as always being insightful, well thought out and researched, and precise. If there is one thing that I can pinpoint that I have learned from her and from my own education at Sarah Lawrence that has continued to benefit me, it is the art of critical thinking, of being open-minded enough to embrace and welcome the ideas of all people and to engage in encouraging discussion rather than aggressive debate.
My mother's father, my grandfather, was an immigrant who came through Ellis Island, and my grandmother was the first generation of her family that was born in America. Because of the opportunity given to their daughter to attend Sarah Lawrence College and to be treated, not as an outsider, but treasured because of her potential, her hard work and her brilliant mind, she was able to bring up a family of humanitarian thinkers, professionals in human services, and contributors to their communities.
As a young girl, my mother was a promising Artist in many disciplines. I didn't realize it until much later that she was an Artist because it was just a part of who she was. She didn't describe herself as being one, she just was. She decorated out home beautifully, cooked wonderful meals and refinished furniture, and she sketched and painted, sang and played our baby grand piano with a lovely touch. She encouraged all of us to pursue every kind of art imaginable, and it is because of that I started writing at a very young age and putting on plays in our barn. I encourage anyone reading this to never underestimate the good work you do when you reach a hand to help a promising young mind to explore, to be nurtured and to grow. It will always bear fruit.
When she was a teenager, my mother became a mother's helper for a family that spent summers in Rhode Island. As a family we started going there the year that I was born, and it is in my view the most beautiful place there is. The vision and plan I have to start a sustainability and health and wellness learning center, arts retreat, and farm to table Chef's table restaurant there is in many ways an ode to her and the memory of all of the beautiful times we shared there together. In so many ways everything that I do has reflections of her in one way or another, and though at times our tastes differ, her quiet presence adds a touch of something special, even if it is just a soft scent of her favorite Chanel No. 5.
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