Honesty

In reading about the bombing suspect in Boston, I'm amazed by the fact that there are so many people, not just his family and friends, but so many other people who believe that he was framed, that he won’t get a fair trial, that this is some kind of conspiracy or set up. Even when the news was released that he had confessed, there are still many people who believe it’s a lie.

What kind of a world do we live in when people are so ready to believe that people would lie about something as important as this? It seems like it must be a world where lying is so commonplace – where people lie so much that we’re all used to it as a way of life. I've seen the damage lies can do, and to me, it's one of the worst things people can do. I won’t say “I’ve never lied,” because I’m sure I have, and actually I can remember a time, when I was hungover from a big party night and I called in sick to work. This was years ago, before I was born again, probably about 20 years ago now, but even then, I felt such guilt about lying that it was almost worse than going into work with a hangover. I was temping at the time, so I didn’t make any money if I called in sick, but I was really feeling sick so I had to call in. But I still felt like I was lying and I felt really bad about it. That’s the only time I remember consciously lying about something, though I know I’m no saint, God knows, so there were probably other times I’ve forgotten.

Why do people lie? To protect ourselves, to make ourselves look better than we feel we are at that moment, to get away with something that we shouldn’t be doing, to impress people – those are just some reasons that come to mind, but they’re not really worth it in the long or the short run. God says lying is a sin – with God no sin is bigger or smaller than any other, so lying is just as big as murder, and if we lie about someone else, that’s slander and He looks at that as murder too. Sometimes we lie to ourselves – that I know I’ve definitely done. Times when I wanted to feel better about something I was doing, times when I wanted to feel better about my life, my job, my relationship, the way I was treating someone else. We call it justifying, or denial, but it’s really just living a lie.

When God identifies something as a sin, it’s because it brings death into our lives. Living His way brings life, not just eternal life, but abundant life now. Sin eats away at us, and that’s what lies do. It gets to a point that we have no peace because there is nothing that we can rely on, not even ourselves. Now that I am walking with Him, I can sleep at night in a way I never could before. When I make a mistake, He gently shows me – that’s one of the blessings of having His Holy Spirit with you all the time. The minute you mess something up, you know it and you can go back and make it right. He tells me about the littlest things too, because they all add up, and why not live your life right in every place? If I go through the check-out line at the supermarket and they don’t charge me enough, I go back. They think I’m crazy, because I’ll go back to give them back 50 cents. I always tell them, I’d be here in a hot minute if you overcharged me. Why shouldn’t I come back if you don’t charge me enough? It’s amazing how it amazes people. I had someone tell me once I was too honest. How can you be too honest? Either you’re honest or you’re not.

I’m trying to imagine a world where everyone was honest all the time. Not in the way of being insulting to people. Wasn’t there a movie like that, where some man couldn’t tell a lie so he kept insulting people? I’m not talking about that kind of I don’t know what it is – insulting people isn’t honesty, it’s something else – tactlessness is more the word for that. I’ve had women ask me in stores “What do you think of this dress?” and it was a dress I wouldn’t buy, but it suited them and they obviously liked it or they wouldn't have been asking me. If I’m honest and kind I can say it suits you or it’s nice, and if you like it, you should buy it. If I’m tactless I could say, I wouldn’t buy it - it’s not my style at all. But that’s not what the woman asked me about. She doesn’t care if I would buy it or if I would wear it, she wants to know if she should. We can answer questions thinking about ourselves, or we can answer them thinking about someone else and what it is that would most help them. When we think about the other person instead of just saying the first thing that comes into our mind, we won't say anything that is hurtful. A woman I know once told me I should get my hair cut in layers - she said I would look "slammin." My hair is long and straight and I rarely cut it - if I wanted it in layers I'd have it in layers. She was thinking about what she likes, and because she wasn't thinking about me at all, all she did in saying that was to make me feel like I didn't look good the way I was. That's not honesty - that's something entirely different that has nothing to do with telling the truth. Our personal opinions are not necessarily useful to anyone else - even when people ask us for our opinion, sometimes they really just want us to listen to what they have to say, really listen, and reply with something that means something to them personally, that shows that we're paying attention to who they are.

Honesty is not always easy, but it’s worth it. Just seeing those people in the stores when I come back to say “I think you undercharged me” is a treat. It brightens their day. “There that crazy woman goes again,” they must be thinking, and they smile, and say thank you, and tell me “you’re so honest.”  I’m not honest in and of myself, but I have the power of God living inside me and walking around with me every day. He keeps me on the right track, because I know what life was like before I started walking with Him and I never want to go back that way again.

Blessings,

Jannie Susan