Monday, April 15, 2013

The Faith Of A Mustard Seed

I always carry a small Bible with me for reading on the subway or when I have extra time waiting somewhere for something or someone. When I need a word of encouragement, I will say a quick prayer “I need your Word, Lord!” or sometimes just simply, “Help!” and unless He has given me a specific book or passage in my mind before I open the Bible, I open it up to wherever it is the Bible opens to. Sometimes it is a passage that doesn’t make any sense at first – a list of family members from one of the Tribes of Israel, or a description of the architectural measurements of the Temple, but when I keep reading, there will be a message within that seemingly endless list or description that speaks directly to my situation. Sometimes it is a passage that leads to another passage, and I am wondering why I am reading about a battle that was lost when I asked for encouragement, but then a reference in the passage will lead me somewhere else and He’ll be giving me exactly the Word that I need when I get to that other place. Sometimes the message is clear right away – once a few years ago when I was on my way into a meeting where I knew that I was going to be laid off along with many other people due to budget cuts, the message was from Zephaniah 3:14-17, and the first words I saw when I opened the Bible were “Joy in God’s Faithfulness!” It was a crazy sounding message to me at that time, but He proved true to it as He always does. I was laid off that day, but during the months that followed, I wanted for nothing, and all of my bills were paid.

The other day I needed a Word. I capitalize it because it is His Word, but also because I needed a Really Big Word. I was feeling very weak and tired, physically and emotionally. It was one of the times when I thought the word, “Help!” before opening the Bible, because that was all I had the strength for. When I opened my Bible, the first thing I saw was the title of a passage, “The Fig Tree Withered,” that begins the section Mark 11:12-14. My first thought was to wonder if I was feeling withered as I was because in some way I deserved it. But that is not how God works. He doesn't condemn us, even when we have been doing things that aren't the best things for us. There are words of condemnation in scripture, and there are people who try to say that those words are their right to say to others who they feel are not walking in the ways of God, but God is very clear with us that we are not to judge others. Before I was born again, I lived a life that was so far away from Him, and others were condemning me for it, but He never did. He just reached out His hand and gave me a new way to walk and has helped me all along the way ever since. After I started my journey with Him, after He had shown me His love and His mercy, then He showed me those passages and I saw how deeply in the muck and mire of sin I had been living. But He never condemned me for it, He just helped me learn to walk in a new way.
I know the passage from Mark 11 well, and had just heard a sermon on it a few weeks ago, so after I got past the thought that God was condeming me with the words about the withered fig tree, I thought that the sermon I'd heard was what He wanted to remind me of. It was in a way, but there was more that He wanted to tell me, something much more personal to me. As I read through that passage and continued on to verse 20, there is another title there, “The Lesson of the Withered Fig Tree.” In the earlier passage, Jesus sees a fig tree that is not bearing any fruit, but even though it is not the season for that tree to be bearing fruit, He curses it so that it withers and can’t bear fruit ever again. When He and His disciples pass by the tree again, Peter comments that it is withered, and Jesus says, “Have faith in God.” He then goes on to talk about faith that can move a mountain, praying with belief that God hears our prayers and receiving the answer to those prayers because of that belief, and forgiving others as we are forgiven by God. For someone else, that might not seem a logical answer to a question, but for me that day, that was exactly what I needed to hear.

God speaks to each of us in the way that we can best understand Him, and if we are listening and spending time in conversation with Him on a regular basis, the messages will be developed over time with a richness that only a close friend who is really in tune with us can bring to our lives. He knows us better than any friend, better than anyone else we could ever know. He knows our weaknesses and our strengths, He knows what we love and what excites us, and yes, He knows where we fail and where we have potholes of sin, and He still speaks to us with love and care in every area, not finding fault with us in the way a criticizing voice would find fault, but helping us to work through the faults and mistakes and sin and come to a deeper place of understanding of how to overcome them. I don’t know how He does this. It is one of the miracles of God. Before I was born again I was such an angry person! People would say that to me sometimes, and it would just get me angrier. I’d think to myself, “Who are they to judge me? They're the ones who are making me so angry!” But somehow over the years since God reached into my life and pulled me out of the mud I was living in, I have lost most of the anger. I still have my moments, and I’ll tell Him, “I am so angry! Help!” but even those times don’t last as long as they did – maybe a day at most now, and that would have to be because of something really big. Often it passes in minutes or even seconds, or doesn’t even develop into anger. I'll just see what is happening and can laugh about it. I have no idea how He has done this, because I know what was inside of me and the way I felt before, and the way things and people affected me before. Things are just not the same any more, and I don’t know how He did it. He certainly never said, “Jannie, you’re so full of anger!” He didn’t judge me or condemn me or tell me I was wrong, He just loved me and showed me His love, and gently helped me learn there was a better way to live.

When I read the passage from Mark 11 the other day, the message was one that He has been developing for a while now. I'd heard the sermon on it several weeks ago, but He had also been giving me that passage for more than a year along with other passages about having faith without any doubt. He talks at other times about faith the size of a mustard seed – a tiny bit of faith, but faith that is pure faith, and because there is no doubt, even that tiny bit of faith has power. He has also been speaking to me about my name. I was looking for something online one night, and I saw a definition of my name. I had often looked for one before but had not found much if anything at all, but there it was all of a sudden, in the middle of my search for something completely different. The name Jannie comes from the Hebrew name, Jana, and means God is Gracious. After the online definition, a college professor had written a note to the website that the name Janah in Arabic means fruit harvest, and the name Jannah means paradise. I saw a whole story in that – it doesn’t mean that I am gracious, but that if I answer the calling on my life, through me, the wonder of God’s graciousness can be shared with others. Scripture speaks many times about bearing fruit and harvests, and there it is in my name. And of course paradise is what we are looking forward to in heaven, and we can have that on earth if we can learn to live God’s way here and now.
The message from the passage from Mark 11 is about a fruit tree that is not bearing fruit and so it withers. The answer Jesus gives about how to bear fruit and live is to have faith in God, pray with belief that God is hearing you, and forgive others as you have been forgiven. The day that I was reading that passage, that was exactly what I needed to hear. He was telling me to have faith in Him – not that I needed to have faith in myself or in anyone else, but in Him. He was telling me that I could know that through that faith I could know that He has heard my prayers, and that the people and situations I was feeling anger and hurt toward needed to be released with the same love and forgiveness and mercy that He shows me every day. It’s an equation that puts us always on the receiving side of His love and blessing. Whatever we give to others will come back to us. It doesn’t matter what they do toward us, it matters what we do towards them. He will take care of the trees that are not bearing fruit, the people who hurt us and the things they try to do to block His love and blessings. As long as we can remember to have faith in Him, to believe He hears us, and to forgive others – notice the word forgive has the word give in it – if we can give our forgiveness to others and remember that He is faithful no matter what other people are doing, our little bit of faith, that tiny mustard seed, can grow into a mighty tree.
Blessings,
Jannie Susan

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