Emotional wounds are very similar in the way that we deal
with them. We try to compensate in other areas of our lives so that we don’t
feel the pain, we try to cover them over and not put any pressure on them, we
try to ignore the pain or dull it somehow, sometimes with drugs and alcohol,
sometimes with too much work or other things that will keep our minds so busy
that we don’t have time to think about the pain of those wounds. Before I was
born again, I tried a lot of things to cover over the pain of the emotional
wounds I was carrying, and after I was born again, one by one, the Lord started
to remove those things that I was using to cover over that pain so that He
could start to heal those places that needed to be healed. I had thought that I
was done with the healing, silly me. Just when I think He’s finished something,
it’s time for Him to go deeper and really get at the place under the scar that
I didn't even know was there.
I’ve dealt with bullies all of my life and was never able to
face them. I’d cower and try to appease them, I tried to get them to like me or
at least to leave me alone. I’d ignore them, I’d be nice to them, I’d do
anything rather than stand up for myself because I was always afraid of them. And
it was something more too, and that more is what the Lord is taking me through
now. He took me through the fear, and I thought that I wasn't afraid any more, at least
not the way that I was, but that's not enough for God. He wants us to be strong and of good courage, to know we are walking with the King when we walk with Him, and fear isn't a part of that picture. And this new place He’s taking me also has to do with
wanting to be liked, thinking somehow that if I’m nice to the bullies that they’ll
somehow come around and be my friend. For some reason I’d gotten it into my head that it was something about me that
was making them bully me, and that if I could somehow just befriend them, we could
all get along. But bullies are bullies, and they’ll bully you as long as you
let them. They’re never going to like you – they don’t even like themselves –
that’s why they’re bullies. Bullies are people who are trying to prove that
they’re superior to other people, that they can put one over on you, that they
can push you to do anything they want you to do and accept whatever lies they
want to tell you or tell about you. Bullies aren’t trying to be liked, they’re
trying to have power over you, and the more power you give them, the more you
go along with them just to try to get along, the more they’ll bully you.
The devil of course is the biggest bully of all. He’s the
one who tells us that we need to go along with the bullies. He’s the one who
tells us that we’re not strong enough to face them and that we need their
approval. He’s the one who whispers in our ear that we deserve to be bullied,
that it’s something about us that makes people bully us. He’s the biggest liar
of them all, because he is the father of lies. In John 8:42-44 Jesus says to
the people who are questioning who He is and who have said that they are God’s
children, “If God were your Father, you would love me, for I have come here
from God. I have not come on my own, God sent me. Why is my language not clear
to you? Because you are unable to hear what I say. You belong to your father,
the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer
from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him.
When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of
lies.”
Bullying comes in different forms. Sometimes people are just
used to having their own way and when you try to stand up to them they decide
to slam you down. Sometimes it’s because of jealousy, sometimes it’s because
they want to feel power over you because they’re powerless in other parts of
their lives. Sometimes people are aggressive and sometimes they’re passive-aggressive.
It doesn’t matter why or how they’re doing it, what matters is how we react or
respond to it. For most of my life I’ve let bullies run right over me, just
hoping they’d go away or just stop. And there was always that part of me that
wanted them to like me and approve of me, so I’d try to be nice and appease
them. But God has something else in mind because as Jesus says in 8:31-32, “If
you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the
truth, and the truth will set you free.” And in John 8:34-36, He tells us, “Very
truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. Now a slave has no
permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. So if the son
sets you free you will be free indeed.”
Freedom in Christ means freedom from sin, freedom from our
old way of living our lives, freedom from making bad choices, freedom from
going along with the crowd just to get along. Freedom in Christ means that we
can stand up to the bullies in our lives and stand for what is right for others
and for ourselves. We can let people know that we have boundaries, and that
while we will pray for them we can’t let them cross the boundaries they’ve been
crossing that have been causing harm to us emotionally or physically. Freedom
in Christ means that we can choose what is right for us and that we don’t have
to let someone else push us around. Freedom in Christ says that we are God’s
children, His beloved, the apple of His eye, and that if anyone treats us as
less than that, we don’t have to accept it. Freedom in Christ says we know who
we are in Him, and that if anyone else tries to tell us anything else, we don’t
have to accept it as truth because it’s a lie. Freedom in Christ says that I
don’t need anyone else’s approval because as long as God says He delights in
me, I’m on the right track. Freedom in Christ says I don’t need to bow down to
anyone else because He is Lord of all. When we come to Christ we can take a
deep breath and tell all the bullies in our lives, “I am free,” and we can know that if you want
to mess with me, you’re messing with the King.
Blessings,
Jannie Susan
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