Relax

A number of years ago I went to an audition for a new tv show that was going to be part of the Oprah network. I wasn’t selected and I don’t think it ever was made, but it might have been – I don’t own a tv and I hardly ever watch tv, so unless someone tells me about something or I read about it I wouldn’t know about it. It was a show about people who did good things – a kind of pay it forward type of show that would showcase people who did nice things for other people in some way, big or small. The audition took an entire day – I forget how I heard about it, but it may have come through one of my regular acting resources. I used to get so many emails about audition opportunities from different actors’ networks, and this may have come through one of them or it could have come through a friend. Whatever the case, I was born again at the time, and so I wasn’t going out on auditions unless the Lord said go, and He said to go to this one so I did.

It was an open call, and they had everyone who responded show up in this huge ballroom type of function room at one of the big hotels in Manhattan. We could choose where we wanted to sit, and It just so happened that I ended up sitting next to two born again Christians. We spent the whole day talking together and had a great time. I don’t even remember what we talked about, but it was great encouraging conversation. I’m sure we shared testimonies about what God has done in our lives, and we had some good laughs too. At one point, one of the people gave me a business card type of card, only it was not a business card – it had a picture of two penguins on it with one that had a giant fish on the top of its head in a way that the penguin looked like it was being swallowed by the fish, and the card had written on it, “Relax, God’s in charge.” I just looked it up and found it on this website, though it’s out of print, but at least you can see what it looks like: http://www.christianresources.co.nz/c/176/p/4114/Relax,-Gods-in-Charge---Pass-It-On--Card--Out-of-print.aspx.

I put that card on my refrigerator door so I can see it every day. It’s one of those things that is right in front of my face all the time, but sometimes I forget about it because it’s so familiar. But tonight when I was asking the Lord what to write about, I saw that card and He said to write about that. For me personally, penguins are one of my all-time favorite animals. I love all animals – even ground hogs – but penguins are for me something that I’ve loved since I was a child. I hadn’t thought about it at the time when the man gave me that card, and I hadn’t ever thought about it all the years I’ve had it on my refrigerator door, but when I saw the card tonight and started to write about it, I recognized that they were penguins and thought how great it was that the Lord had them on that card and that’s the card that man had given me. God is a very personal God. When He wants us to know that a message is for us, specifically for us, then He gives it to us in a way that we know it’s Him talking directly to us. That card is a great card, and I’m sure lots of people loved it, but what He wanted me to know tonight is that tonight that word was for me.

I’m an encourager – I encourage people all the time and always have, even before I was born again. Now that I have the Holy Spirit working through me, it’s amazing the things that the Lord gives me to say to people that are exactly the things they need to hear. But when you’re pouring out of yourself all day, even when it’s the Lord pouring through you, you can find that you can get drained and exhausted, and that even as you’re believing for someone else it’s hard to believe for yourself. I remember a time when I was not able to attend a prayer service at a church I used to attend. I was walking home while I knew they were in prayer, and I was walking through a beautiful park up on a high hill overlooking the Hudson River, praying in spirit with them. As I prayed, I was believing in miracles for everyone who had a prayer request, and the Lord said to me, “If you can believe for them, why can’t you believe for yourself?” I remember at the time when I heard those words, I just started to cry because I realized that I didn’t believe that I was deserving of the love of God and so why should I be deserving of His blessing and favor? Why should He provide for me and take care of me and help me and answer my prayers? Why should He take the time?

Psalm 8:3-5 reads, “When I consider Your heavens and the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars which you have ordained; what is man that you take thought of him, and the son of man that You care for him? Yet, You have made him a little lower than God, and You crown him with glory and majesty!” The answer to my question that day as I prayed on my walk through the park is that God just simply does care for us and help us and answer our prayers – He just does, and there is nothing that I can do to make Him love me any more or any less – He just loves and He loves and He loves just because.

Blessings,

Jannie Susan