The Bulldog

The other day on the subway I saw a couple who were tourists. The man was wearing a t-shirt that said, “The Bulldog, Amsterdam.” Because I lived a very different kind of life before I was born again, I know that the Bulldog is one of the most famous hash and pot smoking bars in the world. My brother went to Amsterdam in the 70’s or 80’s – it was so long ago I don’t remember now. But he told me all about it, and then when I went there in the 90’s, I thought I’d go there too, but I didn’t make it. I was staying with a friend who had gotten married – I was friendly with his wife too, but she had just had a baby and she had never been a partier at all. My friend had been a professional water polo player, and doesn't smoke anything of any kind, but he loved to drink beer, but we didn’t even have a chance to do that because his wife didn’t want to do much of anything. They lived in a lovely little town a train-ride away from Amsterdam, so I went in myself to wander around by myself. Not what I had planned, but hey, I was there, and I didn’t want to stay in their house all day. It was beautiful weather and I never mind doing things by myself if I have to. I was the youngest in my family, and my closest sibling is my sister who is six years older than I am. I spent most of my life in solitude, so it wasn’t anything new.

I didn’t make it to the Bulldog, but I found lots of other fun places, and I did make it to the Van Gogh Museum, another stop that my brother had made. I had been thinking when I saw the couple in the subway that you can’t judge people just by the t-shirts they wear. My brother was a rock musician and he dressed like one. He smoked everything like a chimney so he always smelled like an Amsterdam bar, and he had Fiorucci Girl stickers on his guitar cases and all kinds of rocker gear that he wore, including a diamond earring and a thick gold chain before men were wearing those as much as they do now. If you looked at his clothing you’d think he was a hood and a drug dealer, but he was really one of the sweetest men you could ever meet. Women used to fall over themselves he was so handsome – I fixed him up with a friend of mine for a date once and she said she almost fainted when he came to the door. He was always the perfect gentleman, too, and very gentle and kind and loving. You really can’t judge people by what you see on the outside.

My brother said that the Van Gogh Museum was the highlight of his visit to Amsterdam. He had gone there to party, but he was an artist too. He showed me a photo of The Flowering Almond branch, and I didn’t understand why he liked it so much. It was pretty, a beautiful turquoise color that our grandmother, Nana, always loved and that my brother and I love too, but I didn’t understand what hit him about it until I saw it for myself.

I saw it for myself first in 1986 or 1987, I don’t remember exactly when, but I have the poster from the Metropolitan Museum exhibit and those are the dates that are on it. Then I went to Amsterdam in May of 1996 – I have the ticket stub from the Van Gogh Museum to tell me that. So about ten years later I saw the image that my brother had seen exactly where he saw it, and maybe even roughly in the same state of mind that he’d been in when he saw it. He was a loner too for most of his life.

It’s the brush strokes I think that hit me the most – I don’t know what it was for my brother. For me it was the thick paint that looked like it had been carved out of the canvas with Van Gogh’s bare hands. The turquoise was so vibrant and the pink blossoms so striking. The darker colors of the bark were graphic – like an apocalyptic reckoning against a prophetic dream of a sky. The whole image was primal in a way that I’d never thought of a flowering tree before. It looked like the branches could talk.

In Jeremiah chapter one, the Lord calls Jeremiah to be a prophet. It’s a passage the Lord has given to me many times when I have been in situations where I needed to have the courage to speak the truth when in my weakness I was trying to brush things under the carpet. He’s also given it to me at times when I have spoken the truth and have suffered for it, when I have listened to His leading and said something, with His words of truth with love, but still the message has been rejected and has led me into a time of struggle. It’s at those times when I ask Him what I did wrong that He tells me that it was because I was doing the right thing I am suffering. He never promised us it would be easy, but He does promise us that He will be with us through it all.

The words of the Lord to Jeremiah are some of the most powerful words of encouragement we can read to help us stand for what is right: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.’ ‘Alas Sovereign Lord, ‘I said, ‘I do not know how to speak; I am too young.’ But the Lord said to me, ‘Do not say ‘I am too young,’ You must go to everyone I send you to, and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you declares the Lord.’ Then the Lord reached out His hand and touched my mouth and said to me, ‘I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant.’ The word of the Lord came to me, ‘What do you see, Jeremiah?’ ‘I see the branch of an almond tree,’ I replied. The Lord said to me, ‘You have seen correctly, for I am watching to see that my word is fulfilled.” (Jeremiah 1:4-12) Verses 17-19 continue, “Get yourself ready! Stand up and say to them whatever I command you. Do not be terrified of them or I will terrify you before them. Today I have made you a fortified city, an iron pillar and a bronze wall to stand before the whole land – against the Kings of Judah, its officials, its Priests, and the people of the land. They will fight against you but will not overcome you, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the Lord.”

In the Message Translation, verses 12 and 19 are translated this way, “I’ll make every word I give you come true,” “They’ll fight you but they won’t even scratch you. I’ll back you up every inch of the way.” It is an amazing promise that God makes to Jeremiah – He is saying that if Jeremiah backs down, He’ll give him a reason to be afraid - he will not have the Lord's protection - but if Jeremiah does what the Lord is asking him to do, He’ll have a supernatural back-up so that he will not have any reason to fear. He will be so strong in the power of God that everything he says will come true.

After I saw the real painting of the flowering almond branch I looked at the poster I bought at the Met’s exhibit in a new way. But over time I forgot the visceral impact the painting had until I was facing it once again at the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam. When I was born again and I started to read my Bible, it took me a while to get to the Book of Jeremiah. A friend had suggested that I start in the New Testament at the Book of John, reading a chapter a day in the study Bible he’d given me, then when I finished that to go back to the beginning of the New Testament and read through it the same way, and then go to the beginning of the Old Testament and Genesis. I have no idea when it was that I first read about Jeremiah and the flowering almond branch, but I remember vividly the impact that call of the prophet had in my life, and I remember how vividly the image of the real painting came into my mind, not the poster image, but the real painting. “What do you see, Jeremiah?” Do you see a pretty poster to hang on your wall or do you see an apocalyptic vision against a prophetic dream of a sky?

While the couple in the subway were sitting down, a man next to them got up and dropped his MetroCard on the seat by accident. The man of the couple got up to give it to him before he walked out of the train. They were obviously on vacation together and obviously a couple, but I saw no wedding rings on their fingers. And there was that Bulldog t-shirt that told its own story if that’s what I was looking for. But the real story of who they were was in that gesture of making the extra effort to give that MetroCard back. Someone else might have taken it, or if they didn’t need it would have just left it there and ignored the fact that someone had dropped it. Even a church goer might not have bothered – he was almost out of the door, anyway, so it would be too much trouble to catch him. What do you see, Jeremiah?

From the time that I was born again, the Lord has been showing me that we live in a world where people judge each other all the time based on how we dress and where we go, whether we’re married or single or what our “relationship status” is. You see it all over, in questionnaires, in the social media, when you’re answering questions to get a discount club card at the supermarket. I’m going to say something that might shock some Christians I know, but I don’t think God cares as much whether that couple was married as he cares that they gave a man back his MetroCard. I think it’s more important to Him that they were aware of someone else’s need and were honest than that they might have gone to the Bulldog when they were in Amsterdam. Don’t get me wrong – God cares whether we get married, it’s in His word that He wants us to be married, and there are very important reasons why He wants that for us, reasons that have to do with our best good. He also doesn’t want us to be doing drugs because He wants the best for us in our mind and body and spiritual health. But as clean-living as I am these days and as much as I have come to believe in getting married, if I had judged that couple for doing things that I have done, the Lord would have frowned on me as He smiled on them. What do you see Jeremiah?

When we are called by God to walk in His ways, when He has redeemed us and given us a new life, we have an obligation to stand up for what is right, to be the light of God to the world. God’s promise to us when we do what He’s asked is not that it will be easy – He has never promised us that – but He promises that He will back us up every inch of the way, and that everything we say will happen if what we say is coming from Him. Jeremiah was called not just to tear down and destroy, but to build and to plant. We can help build up or we can tear down, we can plant or we can destroy. The most important thing for us is to make sure that we know who is speaking when we open our mouths. If it’s not coming from God, we won’t have the right words, and the image can become distorted. What do you see Jeremiah? What do you see? If you only see what you see, then look again and ask God to help you see with His eyes.

Blessings,

Jannie Susan