Thursday, May 9, 2013

A Cheerful Giver

I have a friend who is a great photographer. He’s one of those people who is gifted in so many creative areas that it’s hard to pin him down. He can paint and draw beautifully, he can create beautiful and comfortable and functional and luxuriously refined living spaces through architectural and interior design, and he can photograph buildings and people and spaces and fashion in ways that bring them to light and life and make our eyes see them as something both completely timeless and completely new. He’s also generous in a way that few people are, giving of his time and his talents, his gifts and his support to people who often have nothing to give in return and who may not appreciate him in the way he deserves. I am one of those people who has been blessed by him time and time again, and I know that although I was brought up to be polite and say thank you to people, in my own neediness and poverty of spirit over the years I have not shown my appreciation for him enough.

In the time that I have known him, some 25 or more years now, he has given me jobs working as his assistant in interior design and been a mentor to me, introduced me to an amazing clothing designer who not only blessed me with wonderful clothing but made it possible for me to travel to Paris not once but twice and experience fashion week in the midst of a couture house, has taken me on vacation to Miami and Fire Island, has provided me with countless dinners and lunches, shared clothing of his own, made me a bedspread of high quality printed linen, gave me a rug - and not just any rug - he gave it to me for the apartment I was living in at the time, and my landlord liked it so much he took it home; gave me my first lap top computer at a time when practically no one had lap tops because of the cost, took me to movies, opened his home to me for readings of my plays for exclusive invited audiences, and has taken photographs of me over the years that I have used for everything from headshots to modeling to bio pages in magazines. One of his photos is the one I use for this blog. Another time when I was at the end of my own finances and had gone through hell in a relationship, he hired a stylist and took photos of me, making me princess for a day, pampering me and making me feel like I was special and loved. I don’t usually like photographs that are taken of me, but he’s got an eye that can make even the most annoying quirks of my face seem somehow softened, and the things that I least like when I look in the mirror have character.
If I had to put a price tag on all of the things that my friend has given me, if I included the time and the love and the support, I’d have to say like the credit card ad, “Priceless.” When I add into that the counsel and insight and wisdom he shares on everything from family to friends to love to work to philosophy of life, if he ever presented me with a doctor’s bill I’d never be able to pay it. When I looked up the meaning of his name – and no, I won’t tell you his name because I believe in respecting people’s privacy – it means “well born, noble.” I think that is a nice beginning to what and who he is, but there is so much more.

There are people who go quietly about their business, and their business involves helping other people to grow and thrive and be nourished and loved. They don’t put on a big show about it, they don’t say, “Hey, I did that for you, now you owe me,” they don’t say, “I made you what you are! You’d be nothing without me!” or "I picked you up when you were down, what are you going to do for me?" But they could say those things because they're true. They go about their business of giving of themselves in a cheerful way, acting as if it’s just something that is easy for them to do and yet when you realize the extent of what they’ve done and for how many people, it’s much more than just a little bit of something they happen to have some spare time for. Other people who give half as much, or even a small fraction, will act like martyrs and want recognition and praise, but these cheerful givers just do and do and do for other people, and sometimes don’t even get any thanks at all.
2 Corinthians 9:7 says, “God loves a cheerful giver,” and often this is used to encourage people to give financially in church, to tithe and give offering. But what about in our daily lives? There can be a big show going on at church about who is giving what, but what about when you walk out of the door? The whole passage of that scripture reads, “Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” In the book of Revelation, God makes it clear to us that we are not to take his words out of context. When we do that, we lose something very deep in the meaning. Sometimes when people are tithing or the offering basket is being passed around, people feel that they must give, even if they feel they don’t have enough for themselves or their families. The real meaning of this passage as I read it, is that we should feel comfortable in our own heart when we give – that we are not doing it because we feel we must or that other people expect us to, but because it’s what is on our heart to do. God is not about forcing people to do things for other people, and He’s definitely not about putting on a show of giving just to prove how great we are. Generosity and being a giver are gifts and fruit of the Spirit, and because they are, we can always tell when the giver is giving cheerfully or when there is another motive.

My friend is a cheerful giver – that is a gift he has and a fruit of the Spirit that refreshes and nourishes others. As I write this an image comes to mind of a day when I had been working at a health fair in the Bronx, and the church I was working with gave me a gigantic fruit basket to bring home. I don’t drive, so I was taking the subway and then another train, and then walking about two miles home. I must have made quite a sight bearing this basket of fruit, bearing fruit of all colors and sizes and shapes as I made my way home. When we give in the way that my friend does, that is the image that God sees – a cornucopia of colors and shapes and sizes of all of the people we’ve reached out to in love and helped take another step forward.
I pray for my friend always – I pray for all of my friends, and even people I don’t know - whoever God puts on my heart to pray for. But my special prayer for this friend is that he could see himself as God sees him, and know how much he has blessed God by being His hand extended. Jesus tells us in Matthew 25:40 that “whatever you did for the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” My prayer for my friend is that he would know that even if he never hears it from any of us ungrateful humans, God says thank you.

Blessings,

Jannie Susan

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