Gabriel

Every morning when I take the train into the city I am shocked all over again by the way that some people are so completely rude. The pushing and shoving, the standing in the doors so that no one can pass by, the sitting sprawled over more than one seat, the not moving aside to allow others to pass, the backpacks and big pocketbooks in your face or your back or smacking into your side. I had a woman with a big hairdo the other day who kept hitting my head – her hair was very stiff and it hurt. She didn’t even notice that it was sticking out so far that I kept having to duck and move every time she smacked into me. I've had people lean their nooks and kindles on me, and people spill their drinks - one woman one day splashed her tea on me and when I moved and brushed it off, she said, "It's just tea," as if that somehow made it all right.

My work hours are different every day, so I am traveling at all times of the morning, and it doesn’t really matter how early it is or how crowded it is, the same lack of consideration is the norm. I remember vividly one not too early morning – after rush hour – when I arrived at the train just as the doors were about to close. There was a man standing smack in the middle of the entrance, surveying the car as if he owned it. I said excuse me and he didn’t move, the doors made their door closing sound, so I said excuse me again, and walked past him. I didn’t shove him, I just walked past him. There was a seat so I sat down in it, and he starts yelling at me, “You didn’t need to shove me, I would have let you have the seat. Jeez, these people.” I looked at him and said,”I’m sorry but you were standing in the doorway and I couldn’t get in. I didn’t shove you.” But he just kept muttering, so I asked if he wanted to sit down, and he said, “Oh, no, oh, no,” all high and mighty and like a martyr. It was amazing.

What is it about people that they always have to say that what they’re doing is fine and that no one else matters? I know it’s not everyone – I share enough glances and smiles and quiet laughs with people when we observe the same craziness, but there are enough of these folks who just go about their business while running everyone else over that it gets to be really annoying. I get emails like that and calls too – even sometimes from people I thought were friends. They’ll ask a question in an accusatory way and when you try to calmly reply they try to keep starting an argument when there’s no argument. You know the type I’m talking about – they ask you something about something they’ve completely misunderstood because they weren’t listening or paying attention to what they were reading in an email and when you calmly explain they answer, “I know that such and such, but my question was such and such,” when that wasn’t their question at all and the question is still only a question because they weren’t taking the time to pay attention. And those are the folks who will swear up and down that no one understands them, that they’re always being misunderstood and misrepresented, that people say they’re not polite and complain that they’ve hurt their feelings, and meanwhile they never try to understand anything that anyone else says or does, they jump to conclusions about the worst in everything, insult people all day long, and generally make everyone else feel on edge because you never know how they’re going to attack you next.

Communication is so powerful that when people were building the Tower of Babel and God wanted to stop it, he made it so that there were many different languages and people couldn’t communicate easily any more (Genesis 11:1-8). On the day of Pentecost, the disciples who were praying in the upper room "began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them” and were able to share the Gospel with people from different countries. Salvation was widespread that day because people could communicate in a way they hadn’t been able to before. (Acts 2:1-12)

There are things that God warns us about to help us along our way, and one of those things is pride. I took a training a few years ago and we talked about Communication Blockers, and pride is a big communication blocker. If I am so bent on making sure that I look good and like I’m always right, I’m not going to take the time to pay attention to you because I’m too busy trying to prove that I’m great and I’m always right. No matter what you say I’m going to just keep saying what I’m saying and make sure that somewhere in there I tell you that you’re wrong and that you haven’t been paying attention to me and that I’m so much better than you are. I may not use those words – in fact I most probably won’t because I’m so proud of how clever I am at letting you know who is on top of things and at putting you in your place without being rude. I’m so proud of what a great communicator I am and so sorry for you that you are so beneath me that I’ll say things in a pitying and condescending way, never realizing what I really sound like.

I’ve had conversations like this with people my whole life, and with the advent of email it just made another outlet for people to go after each other with cutting remarks, to prolong arguments in these weird ways – I can pretend I’m not on email and wait to answer you and then blammo, the next time you go to your email box there’s a diatribe. I have to be honest and say that I used to be able to hold my own with the best of them. I wasn’t going to admit that I was wrong even if it killed me. But God tells us there’s another way. He tells us, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, rather in humility value others above yourselves." (Philippians 2:3) He tells us to “be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." (James 1:19) He tells us to focus on "what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable," to "think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." (Philippians 4:8)

As with so many thing that God says, it doesn’t make sense when we think of how the world works. But that’s just the point. The way the world works is the way the world works, but God’s ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:9). His message to us is always to look at what we’re doing, and not respond to people who are treating you badly in the same way they are treating you. He tells us to turn the other cheek, and the way I read that is that He’s not talking about letting someone continue to beat you up, He’s saying don’t hit them back; turn your head away so the fight can’t continue. That doesn’t feel right to us, though – an eye for an eye is more what we want. I know sometimes people do the smallest things to me and I want to see blood – literally. I have to go before God and ask Him to help me – I say, “You know what’s in my heart, help me get rid of it.” And He does. When we ask Him for help, He always helps us. For me the biggest challenge is getting over my pride to be able to ask Him to help me forgive and not want to run someone over with a bus.

There was a time when I was on the subway coming home from an evening church service. This was the year that I was first born again, and I was living way up in the 200’s in NYC – we call it upstate Manhattan. My church at that time was all the way downtown, and the subway ride took about a half hour once the train came which could take a while at night. At the time I was working on a project that someone at the church had started – she had offered to teach anyone who wanted to learn how to crochet, and had gotten yarn and needles donated, so that we could make scarves for the people who came into the soup kitchen as a Christmas gift. I really took to crocheting, although I don’t know if I’d even remember how to now – it’s one of those things if you don’t use it you lose. But at the time I was crocheting every moment I could, and those long subway rides were a perfect time.

As I sat on the train, a young man got on around 42^nd Street I think. The train was starting to empty out, and he sat right next to me. I could see out of the corner of my eye that he was dressed very street, with a sideways ball cap and chains and tattoos, and all I could think of was, why do you have to sit so close to me? It would have been bad enough if it was even a little old lady, but here was this thug, and I had my crocheting all out so moving would have been a hassle. I have friends from church who are graffiti artists, and I used to hang out with all kinds of people before I was born again, so I decided to stick it out, hoping that maybe he’d be getting off earlier than I was. My stop was the last stop, so chances were he would be.

The train started its express ride from 59^th to 125^th, and then he started talking to me. “What are you making?” I decided I’d condescend enough to tell him because after all, maybe I could spread the Gospel and save this poor soul. I explained about the scarves and the soup kitchen, and then somehow or other I realized that this wasn’t just an ordinary conversation. He started to talk about forgiveness, I don’t even remember how, and then he started to talk about the different ways and things God asks us to forgive, and they were all the things that I had been struggling with. When Jesus meets the Samaritan woman at the well, she runs back to tell the people in her village, “Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did!” (John 4:29). I felt like that woman then. He wasn’t preaching at all – if I hadn’t been tuned into what he was saying I would have missed it or mistaken it. He didn’t speak in any exalted way – he was very much a New York City guy. At one point he said, “What’s that thing they say? To make a mistake is human, to forgive is Divinity? Something like that.” And he shrugged and laughed, but I knew there was something going on that was way above me.

We took that train all the way uptown together, and got off at the last stop. I had to put money on my metrocard, and he pointed upwards and said he was heading that way. I asked him his name so that I could pray for him – I always do that when the Spirit tells me to. He answered, “Gabriel,” and I just cracked up laughing. He said, “I know, people always say that, but it’s my name.” I said “God bless you Gabriel,” and finished my transaction. We had been talking for most of the time that I was at the token booth, and he had just gone upstairs when I went right after him. At that stop there are four different directions you could go in, and I looked in all four but he was gone.

Hebrews 13:2 in the Aramaic Bible in Plain English says, “And do not forget to show kindness to strangers, for by this, some who, while they were unaware, were worthy to receive angels.” The American Standard Version translates it this way, “Forget not to show love unto strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unaware.” Other translations use the word “hospitality” instead of kindness and love, but these two translations are the most beautiful to me. I think “love” must be one of God’s favorite words – after all, He is love (1 John 4:8 and 16). And kindness is a close second, at least in my own way of thinking. Hospitality might not be possible in today’s busy world. We might meet someone on a subway or a bus, or during rush hour. Hospitality isn’t always possible. I might not have lunch myself, so I couldn’t share it with someone else, but I can share a few words of love and kindness, wherever I am and whatever I have or don’t have, unless what I have is so full of pride that I can’t get over myself enough to let someone else in.

John is sometimes referred to as the "Disciple whom Jesus loved" (John 20:2). In 1 John 4, he uses the word love so many times it is difficult to count. And each time he uses it, the message gets stronger. He says that if we have love, if we walk in love, we have God in us, and "He who is in us is greater than he who is in the world." (verse 4) He says, "if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us," (verse 12); that we can "know and rely on the love God has for us," (verse 16); that "There is no fear in love," and "perfect love drives out fear." (verse 18). I don't know about anyone else, but those are promises I want to have over my life. If all it takes is love, then I'm going to choose to love.

Blessings,

Jannie Susan