At one of their dinners someone asked me if my life was like the shows they saw on tv – I was the only one who was American in the place, though several people there had lived in New York at one time or another. They specifically asked about Sex and the City, but I couldn’t really tell them whether my life was like that or not because I don’t own a tv and haven’t for a long, long time, so I only knew a little bit about that show and had never watched it at all. All I could tell them was that I loved the life I lived – I was there with them wasn’t I? Wasn’t that proof that I had a great life? And I did love my life, or at least I thought I did, I had some great friends and some great adventures, but somehow, even with all its adventures, it was never fulfilling in the way that my life is now. I was always searching for something that I didn't know what it was until I found it when I was found.
I met a Pastor yesterday who I was introduced to because he
needed more food for his church food pantry so that he could provide more food
for the community. I have some very good contacts in the feeding ministry world
these days – great cooks and people who like to feed people have always been my
friends in one way or another. In those days 20 years ago I was living the high
life, and now I’m living one that’s even higher if you think of heaven the way
that I do. I love to cook and I love good food and trying new things, so all
God did was to take the gifts that I had and the things I enjoyed and used them
to help people instead of just doing things for myself. I used to cook for
people and throw dinner parties, and after I was born again, He sent me to cook
in a Soup Kitchen and showed me how to multiply loaves and fish so that the
meal was enough to feed more than 100 people on what they said was the best
meal they ever had. I have a picture someone took on my birthday one year at
that Soup Kitchen. We had just finished up for the night, and one of my friends
took a photo. It was honestly one of the happiest birthdays I’ve ever had, and
I don’t say that just because I’m supposed to. I’ve had some great times and
some great experiences in my life, but as King Solomon tells us in Ecclesiastes, it’s all
vanity and chasing after the wind. The only thing that lasts from those times is the memories of the people.
I spoke with the Pastor and said that I was going to connect
him with an organization I know that shares their own donations with other
churches and meals programs because they know the truth of how God works – when
the blessings pour in and your pour them back out again, even more pour in and
you have a never ending supply. He gave me his contact information, and then
said something that I thanked him for, and will continue to thank God for, for the rest of my life. He looked at
me and said that I must have a lot of love in me, because he had seen me giving
the health and wellness presentations I do, and he said that when he sees those
and now is hearing what I am doing by connecting the churches with more
resources so that they can help more people, that what I am is a missionary. He
said that it would be right for God to give His blessing to me because the work
that I do is from my heart and that not everyone does the work for that reason.I know that’s true about some people not doing the work from their heart, and I know that I care deeply about people, but it was something that God has put in my heart - I wasn't always this way - it used to be all vanity. It was amazing to hear this Pastor tell me that he could see my heart in what I do, because I know what my heart used to be like. It reminded me of a time last spring when I helped a very tiny and very old lady who was all hunched over and could barely walk, who was being blown around by the wind and was trying to get to the supermarket with her rolling cart. I offered to help her get there, and when we arrived at the door and I had seen her safely inside, I had to apologize because I was on my way to teach a class and I couldn’t help her shop and get home again. She grabbed hold of my hand and looked up into my face and said, “God sees what you do.” The Pastor's words were like that woman’s words, an encouragement that only God could give, and a reminder to me that He does work miracles because of the miracle He worked in me.
When I saw the name Shandy outside of that bar yesterday, I thought of
the person who had taught me what a Shandy was. Back in those 20 years ago days
I had friend who I don’t even remember how I met. I’ll have to ask him, though
he lives in London now and we don’t talk much these days. Back then we almost
lived together we spent so much time together. He was like a brother to me, but
much more than that – a confidante, a friend, and someone who fed me all the
time with delicious food. He owned a restaurant that was one of THE places to
go. Everyone who was everyone knew that place, and you could do anything you
wanted there within reason. He had taken an old garage and gutted it and
completely refinished it inside, but not like any place you have ever seen. It
was still a big open space, with art work and mosaics everywhere, very downtown
bohemian, New York City via San Francisco. I had heard of his restaurant before
I ever met him, and I don’t remember how I met him, but I remember thinking I
was the luckiest person in the world because we became friends.
His restaurant was within a short walking distance from my apartment then, and his apartment wasn’t far from mine either. When we weren’t at those places, he would take me around to meet his very cool friends, to parties and events all over town. One night he found out that I’d never crashed a party, so he taught me how to do that too. People used to stop us as we were walking around and ask us to sit outside their chic restaurants for a drink on the house - that’s the kind of glamour he is covered with. He's model handsome and he has a heart of pure gold, a heart after God’s own heart, even though neither one of us talked about God in those days. He glowed with a glow that I know now was the love that was inside him. He would help people who needed help and give food to people all the time. He was one of the most caring people I know, and still is. If I had known then what I know now, I would have told him then that God sees what you do.
There are people with God inside of them walking around us
every day. They might not be talking about reading Bibles or going to church,
but their hearts are after His own heart. Sometimes those people show us more
of Jesus than the ones who talk the right talk. I don’t miss those old days
because my new days are filled with something that gives me hope and light and
life and joy. I have a purpose now to my life that I had been searching for and never had until now. But I do remember with the love that they gave me some of the people who used to fill those days with
their light and their love, when I didn’t know the God who was in them.His restaurant was within a short walking distance from my apartment then, and his apartment wasn’t far from mine either. When we weren’t at those places, he would take me around to meet his very cool friends, to parties and events all over town. One night he found out that I’d never crashed a party, so he taught me how to do that too. People used to stop us as we were walking around and ask us to sit outside their chic restaurants for a drink on the house - that’s the kind of glamour he is covered with. He's model handsome and he has a heart of pure gold, a heart after God’s own heart, even though neither one of us talked about God in those days. He glowed with a glow that I know now was the love that was inside him. He would help people who needed help and give food to people all the time. He was one of the most caring people I know, and still is. If I had known then what I know now, I would have told him then that God sees what you do.
Blessings,
Jannie Susan
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