There Is A River

There was a time about two years ago when I was going through something really tough. Being a Christian is not easy, and there are times of struggle and trial that can really seem like they’re so hard that we can start to wonder why we ever started on this walk. At the time when I was born again I was at the lowest point in my life, but when the times of struggle come, especially when they’re earlier on in your new walk, they can make those old days seem like days of ease and comfort. It’s not true at all, and in some place deep in myself I know that it’s not true, but when you’re feeling defeated by everything and everyone and it seems like there’s nowhere to turn where you won’t find more defeat, those old days can seem like a comfortable old sweater that you just want to cover yourself with. The problem is that the old sweater is full of moth holes, and when you try to put it on, it smells like the musty trunk you were keeping it in, so you’re back to having to live in your new life, even though there seems to be no comfort in it.

At the same time that I was dealing with a very tough trial, I went to a meeting with a large group of church ministries to talk about the nutrition and wellness work that I do and to introduce myself to the group. There was a lunch after the meeting, and I sat with a woman who had a meals program. She shared with me that her heart was in helping the homeless, and she was making food and bringing it out to areas where people slept in the streets or in places like Grand Central Station or at the Port Authority bus terminal. She had started this ministry with the blessing of her Pastor, but there was someone in the church who had become jealous of her ministry and was trying to convince the Pastor to let her take over the ministry instead. In case you're surprised by this, it happens all the time. Churches are like any other place. Just because people say they’re Christians doesn’t mean they're really walking the walk. People jockey for position and try to take away other people’s ministries. They don’t understand that if there is a true call of God on your life, there is nothing that can take that away from you, so they try, and the bigger the calling, the greater the anointing, the more they want what you have and the harder they try to take it away from you.

This woman I met was at the end of her strength. She was so tired of the gossip and back biting, and so tired of struggling to do this work that she knew was God’s work and that was the work that she was being called to do. As I spoke with her, the Lord told me to give her a word that He had given to me for the situation that I was struggling through, Psalm 46:4-5 “There is a river whose streams shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacle of the Most High. God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved; God shall help her just at the break of dawn.” When I took out my Bible and read that to her at this luncheon filled with Pastors and church leaders, she began to cry. The power of the Holy Spirit can do that to us sometimes, often for me, when I hear a word that goes straight to my spirit, straight to my heart, straight through the pain of my situation, the tears fall like rain. It is a healing rain, the tears when we cry like that. We know deep inside that God is telling us to hold on, because He knows what we’re dealing with and He is going to bring us through it.

There is nothing and no one who can stop God from what He wants to do in your life. People will try - I don’t even say they may try, I say they will because even God tells us that they will. Jeremiah 1:19 says, “They will fight against you, but they shall not prevail against you. For I am with you, says the Lord, to deliver you.” And He tells us in Isaiah 43:13, “There is no one who can deliver out of My hand. I work and who will reverse it?” It may seem sometimes like all the forces of hell are coming against you and that they are winning, but God says they can’t.

About a year after I met that woman and gave her that word that had been given to me, I was going through another dark time, a time when I was ready to give up once again. I was so tired and worn out that I didn’t feel like going to church, and the Lord said I had to. I knew that He would  bless me there if He wanted me to go so much, so I got myself together and went on my tired way. I’d like to say that I rallied myself, but I know I didn’t. There are times when it’s impossible to do much except for drag your feet and that was one of those times. There was a guest Pastor that day, and I say this so you understand how seemingly random his message was. My own Pastor didn't know what I was going through, so how on earth could this guest? He said that he had a word to share that he knew someone needed to hear, someone who was at the end of their strength, who had been dealing with such feelings of defeat that they felt they couldn’t go on. And then he started to read from Psalm 46. I sat in my chair and just cried and cried and cried. I’ll never forget his voice at one point when he just kept repeating, “There is a river, there is a river, there is a river.”

Jesus promises that, "whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be a well of water springing up into everlasting life." (John 4:14) He doesn’t promise us an easy life, in fact He says, “In this world you will have trouble,” but He also says, “but take heart because I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) When we are at our lowest point and feel we can’t go on, when it doesn’t feel like we have a friend in the world, there is always a friend we can count on, a friend who gives us water in the driest of lands and sends messengers to help us hear His voice when we have almost stopped being able to listen.

A woman I know gave me a calendar as a gift for Christmas that has quotes from different Psalms for each month and beautiful pictures of lovely places in nature. In my post titled “Between Egypt and the Promised Land,” I had written about a hike I took up through a waterfall in Hawaii years ago, and I talked about the orchids and other beauties of that place that made the trip worthwhile even with all the struggle to get up the mountain. When I changed my calendar to May, the photograph was of a waterfall filled with orchids, and the quote was from Psalm 46, a reminder from my dearest friend that, “There is a river whose streams shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacle of the Most High. God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved; God shall help her just at the break of dawn." There is a saying that the Bible is God’s love letter to us all. I believe that’s true, and that it’s one that He just keeps writing over and over on our hearts.
 
Blessings,

Jannie Susan