Contender

Truckers can be some of the nicest people in the world. When I’m on my way to work in the morning there are a couple of street crossings that can have very heavy traffic. There’s no stop light at some of them, and people do not want to let you cross. I’ve helped little children and people in wheelchairs and with walkers and canes by walking out into the traffic like a crossing guard, but when there’s a truck, a little one or a big rig, they usually stop when they see someone standing on the corner, looking both ways, even if it’s just me. Once when I was on my way home, this was about 15 years ago before I was born again, right after my father had died, I was on my way home from a bar on the edge of town where it wasn’t very well lit. A trucker asked me if I wanted a ride home – I didn’t accept because I wanted to walk, but he didn’t mean it in a "wanted to pick me up" kind of way, he was genuinely concerned. He said he didn’t like to see a woman walking alone late at night. That’s a trucker for you. Another time I got a good laugh that I remember sometimes and it still makes me smile. I used to wear cowboy boots all the time, and I was walking somewhere during the day time and I heard a big trucker yell, “Hey boots, want a ride?” I smiled and waved – he didn’t mean it at all in any kind of offensive way. It was his way of saying hello and that he liked my boots and might like to get to know me – but all very respectful. That’s a trucker too.

A friend of mine used to work in a bar where a lot of truckers came in and she said they were always so good to her. They always tipped well and they were always polite, and she never had to worry about being harassed because if someone started bothering her, they’d be escorted out the door by one of the truckers. They treated her like - I'd say a daughter or a sister – but it was different than that. They were respectful and complimentary of her in the way men can be to women that feels nice and not invasive. Not many men can do that – they’re often either all over you when you don’t want them to be or they’re not saying anything nice at all and you wish they would. There’s something about a man who is tough and strong and still kind and gentle and gentlemanly. I’m old fashioned that way – I like to have doors held for me and my bags carried for me. I don’t say you have to do it – I can do it myself – but it’s nice all the same.

On my train to the city there are these video screens that show short news stories and weather and sports. They’ve been showing the line up for the Rangers, and one of them was called a “Contender.” I started thinking about that word. Here was this guy who was very handsome and very rugged, the goal keeper, so you know he’s tough. But he still looked like he could have a sweetness about him – Hockey is one of the most brutal sports but he didn’t look mean at all. I looked up the word contender when I got home and I found some interesting definitions that I’d never heard of for it. In addition to competitor, there were other related words: favorite, crown prince, favorite son.

In Isaiah 49:25, the Lord says, “I will contend with those who contend with you.” He’s been giving me that passage for a while now because I’ve needed to be reminded that He’s the one who will fight my battles for me. I used to act very tough because I thought I had to fight all my own battles. I didn’t want anyone to think they could mess with me because I’d been messed with so much already. I used to love wearing my cowboy boots because they made me feel tough. I used to hang out with men and try to act like I didn't care if they weren't respectful because I was one of the boys.

There’s a song from “Flower Drum Song,” “I Enjoy Being A Girl.” I won’t say that I ever didn’t want to be a girl, but I didn’t always enjoy it. I always felt the need to be tougher than I was – as if being a girl somehow meant that you were weak and that was a bad thing. It was such a relief when I was born again and I started to know the Lord and to know a God who would fight my battles for me, a God who called me His daughter, who said I was a princess, who wanted me to be what He had created me to be, who thought my being a girl was just fine. Now I’m enjoying it, enjoying wearing pretty dresses instead of jeans all the time, wearing clothes with frills and lace and pastel colors instead of black.

I’m also enjoying the feeling of knowing that I can be a girl without having to be weak. That I can be sensitive, and loving and kind without being a pushover. God has been showing me how to be who I am without letting other people put me down. He’s also been showing me how to give love and to receive it, and how to know when people aren’t treating me in the way that I deserve. We all deserve to be treated with love and respect – that’s the least we can do for each other. But sometimes people for whatever reason are unable to do that, and they take each other for granted, and can be downright rude and sometimes rotten. I used to put up with less than kind behavior, people who did things they shouldn’t do, people who said things they shouldn’t say. It always bothered me but I’d put up with it and act like I didn't care, and then it would fester until something would happen that would make it impossible to keep silent any more. Then the outburst would come, the anger, the frustration, the hurtful and hurting words that I wished I could take back, but once they’re out of your mouth they’re out there. If I didn’t lose my temper, it would just keep on bothering me, eating me up inside. The temper would eat me up too, so I could never win.

The point of a contender is to win the battle. You’re only a contender if you’re still in the fight. There were a few other surprising words that were listed as synonyms: expectant, hopeful, prospect, seeker. We don’t win the battles of life by losing our tempers or putting up with things that put us down, we win when we can live our lives with expectant hope, as someone with prospects, as a seeker. Hebrews 12:1 reads, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.” Anger is a sin. It is one of those things that is the opposite of anything positive that we can have or do in our lives. There is is a righteous kind of anger, but really only Jesus can have that because He is truly the only one who is completely righteous. Anger for me is just something that weighs me down, that keeps me from joy, that keeps me from living my life with expectant hope, as someone with prospects, as a seeker.

There’s a famous line from the movie “On The Waterfront,” that Marlon Brando says, “I coulda been a contender.” When I learned that I could rely on God to contend with those who contend with me, I started to lose the weights that were holding me back so I could be a contender – the favorite, the crown princess, the favorite daughter. He can do the same thing for you too – He doesn’t have favorites – we’re all His favorite children – but He’ll make you feel like the favorite son or daughter that you always wanted to be – the favorite, the one who is favored to win whatever battle you face. A contender.

Blessings,

Jannie Susan