I studied Spanish for years in school – junior high and high
school – six years in all, and I used to speak it and read it and write it
really well. I didn’t use it for years, and so now it takes time for me to
translate things, but that song was pretty easy. When you have a feel for
Spanish, it makes sense – the sentence structure is really simple once you get
used to it, and it’s definitely lyrical – it’s one of the most beautiful
languages I think, and I have a Pastor friend from the Dominican Republic who
calls it the Celestial language. I heard another Pastor I know who is from
Puerto Rico evangelize on the streets outside the projects on the lower east
side once, and he started in English and then switched to Spanish. It was the
most beautiful time I ever heard him preach.
“Corazon Espinado” translates to something along the lines
of a heart that is pierced or torn by something like thorns. The song has been on my
mind for the past week or so, and I finally looked it up last night to see if what
I was thinking was what God was telling me. I was getting some kind of message that it had
something to do with Him, and I thought that was really strange, but when I
looked it up, I found a question and answer website and several people had
written in that the translation is really something closer to the sacred heart
of Jesus surrounded by the crown of thorns. God is really funny that way. A
song is on my mind, and I keep thinking
that it couldn’t possibly be something that He was trying to tell me, but sure
enough, it is, and then when I need to have Him confirm it, He confirms it not
once, but several times.
What I had been thinking about is that only God can heal a broken heart. There was a time in
my life when my heart was so broken that I turned away from God completely.
When I was 18, I got into a fight with the first love of my life, and I said
some things I shouldn’t have said, and wrote them too. We had not ever had a
fight before that, and we’d been together for three years. I thought I was going
to marry him. But then in one outburst of anger, I lost him. It was all over
after that, and there was nothing that I could do or say to make it right
again. The words were let loose and they couldn’t be taken back. I didn’t know
God at the time in the way I do now, but I’d had an innocence that was lost
when I felt my heart break. I closed the door to ever loving again and closed
the door to the possibility of God.
When I met someone six months later, I didn’t care about
love at all. But the heart is an interesting muscle. It gets bruised and hurt
seemingly beyond repair, but somehow it bounces back to health again. But there is always something lost unless we really have a chance to heal. The innocence that was lost needs to be restored and renewed and reborn. I did fall in
love again, only this time I didn’t give my whole
self. I was afraid that it would end and so I didn't really give my whole heart. And it did end – it’s a funny thing how we
create our own sad situations sometimes purely out of fear that they won't work out. After that I didn’t really fall in
love again for several years - I dabbled in it, and had boyfriends, but I didn't give my whole heart. The part I'd locked away when I was 18 stayed locked in an iron box with chains around it, double and triple locked for extra protection. When I did fall in love again, I purposely chose someone who I
could never really have a lasting relationship with, thinking that somehow that
would keep me safe, but things went so badly that time I ended up wanting to
end it all. And that was when God stepped in and took my broken heart, my heart
that had been pierced by too many thorns, and covered it with His own heart
that sanctified my own and made it whole again.
One of the names of God is Jehovah Jireh, the Lord provides,
and another is Jehovah Rophe, the Lord heals. He’s also known as Jehovah Mekadesh,
the Lord who sanctifies you; Jehovah Shalom, the Lord our Peace; Jehovah Rohi,
The Lord our Shepherd; Jehovah Nissi, The Lord is my banner; Jehovah Tsidkenu,
the Lord is our righteousness; and Jehovah Shamma the God who is always there.
At different times in our lives He will show up and reveal Himself in one or in
many of these ways. There are other names too: Elohim, powerful God; Adonai, Lord;
El Elyon, God most High; El Shaddai, Almighty God; and Yahweh, the God of
Israel’s covenant. When He shows up in my life in those ways, I usually fall
flat on my face and am overcome completely. When He shows up in the other ways,
it is a powerful experience, but different somehow, more like something in me
that has been waiting to be completed is finally complete.
When I first started thinking about “Corazon Espinado,” I
was thinking about how when we know the Lord He can heal us of all things, even
a heart that is broken and feels like it can never love again. All we have to
do is ask Him. After I was born again, I was still feeling the pain of a broken
heart. I’d be fine for a few days and then something would remind me and I’d
feel so broken all over again. One day when I’d gotten a particularly nasty
reminder, when it felt like there was a crown of thorns piercing my heart, I
went before God and said, "please take this feeling away from me." It took a few more hours of praying that prayer, but then I went to
sleep that night like a baby and woke up with no pain at all.
The song starts out with the idea that “this woman is killing me.” It sounds better in Spanish, and means something a little bit
different somehow the way that Spanish always does, but that’s close to what it
means. But she isn't killing the guy who’s singing – he’s still singing after
all. All she really did was hurt him really badly – walked away, walked out,
turned away, betrayed him, left him – who knows what the story is, but all the
sad stories are the same in some way or another. When we’ve been hurt that way,
betrayed, abandoned, lied to, left alone and ashamed, it feels like our love is
something that isn’t worth anything and that can only cause us pain.
But God tells us something different. He tells us that love
is one of the fruits of the Spirit. He tells us that love never fails. He tells
us that love covers all things. He tells us that love conquers evil. He tells
us that without love we have nothing, but with it we have all things. He tells
us that love is the completion of the covenant with Him, that love completes
His commandments.
The mistake I made the first time my heart was broken is
that I turned away from God. If I had turned to Him then and had given my heart
to Him, I would have saved a lot of wasted time and years. Whatever we give to
Him He returns to us, “in full measure, pressed, shaken down and running over.” (Luke 6:38) Jesus
tells us that if we try to save our own life we will lose it, but if we give
up our life for His sake we will find it. (Matthew 10:39) I’d rather go with His offer than
risk losing everything just because I’m so desperately trying to hang onto it
all. I'd rather give Him my heart so that I can find it again. Besides, if He wants my heart now, after all I’ve done with it, He’s a
better man than any that I know. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t mind picking
up your baggage and helping to throw it in the river of forgetfulness. But that's
what He does, and He does it willingly, every day for any one of us who just says
yes to His offer.
Blessings,
Jannie Susan Blessings,
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