Over these past months, He’s had me doing other things to
keep letting them know it’s going to happen. I’ve been very careful every time
I talk to them about something that He’s told me to say or do something He’s
told me to do, because I don’t want to bring hope to a situation if it’s not
really coming from God. I don’t want it to be my voice and my ideas coming into
this person’s life, because if it’s just me, I can’t make anything happen at
all no matter how much I want it to happen. But if it’s God, He’ll do what He’s
said He’ll do, so each time He says to say something or do something, I double
check and triple check, and each time He says to go ahead.
When I had the dream I woke up in the morning with such joy.
It had been a joyful dream, and the person I was talking to, the person who I’ve
given this word of hope from God to over these past months, said, “It happened.”
She was so surprised and so joyful. She was glowing with happiness, something
that I’ve never seen her do, and I’ve known her all of my life. I was so happy
to see her so happy, and when I woke up I knew that the Lord was telling me
again that He was going to do what He said He would do.
In the sermon I heard on Sunday from Times Square Church,
the sermon I wrote about in the blog titled, “Holding On To What Is Good," Pastor William Carrol had
spoken about times in our lives “When Grace Makes You Wait,” and he had talked
about the times when God will be in the process of answering your prayer, when
He’s given you a promise and you know He’s going to fulfill it, but then all of
a sudden things get put on hold while He’s taking care of someone else’s need
that is greater, and in that time He will ask you to come with Him and be with
Him, by His side, while He works a miracle in that other person’s life. He
invites you to come with Him and be a part of that other person’s healing
process, to watch Him heal, but also to be with Him as He does it. This
situation I’m dealing with now is that scenario, and I thank God for that word
on Sunday so that I understand much more deeply what is happening now.
When the Lord made a promise to me last year, He brought me
all the way up to the time of fulfillment, and then things just stopped. They
were put on hold, and at the time I had actually had a conversation with Him
about the promise He had made to me and how there was someone I knew who needed
to know His love and blessing in her life before He gave me my blessing. But it
was not until He spoke the word about this person to me in the early Spring
that He reminded me of that conversation. I had initiated it, because I knew
there was something that needed to happen for this person before I received my
blessing. It’s not that I am so altruistic, it’s just because I have gotten to
know the heart of God, and I knew there was something out of order in what was
happening for me. The blessing He was giving me was too great – I didn’t deserve
it – and it’s not that I would tell Him not to give it to me, but I also knew
that this other person I knew needed a big blessing too. And so I had a
conversation with Him and told Him that things needed to happen differently,
that He needed to remember this other person and put their need first. He told me
not to worry, that He would take care of it, and so I went on my way, expecting
my blessing, and then when things were held up, I didn’t think of that
conversation until He reminded me of it when He gave me the word He gave me for
this other person in the Spring.
And now here I am, nearing the end of summer and still waiting on my blessing, and having
a hard time believing because it seems further away than ever, and then comes
this dream to let me know that my blessing is on hold because God needs to
attend to the needs of this other person, and He wants me to come along with
Him while He does it. The joy I had in that dream was worth all of the waiting
on my own promises. Seeing a glow in someone’s face, knowing that they have
finally understood that they are beloved of God, knowing that they feel
blessed, that is a sweet aroma, incense lifted up to God.
Ephesians 5:1-2 tells us, “Therefore be imitators of God as
dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself
for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.” There
are times when God will give us a promise, and then He will ask us to give it
back to Him. It is not something He does out of wanting to harm us in any way,
although it is a test. And what He is testing at those times is not how
selfless we are, but how much we trust in Him. He wants us to know that we can
trust Him in all things, to do all things that are good and right and true. When
the Lord asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, He wasn’t planning on having the
child killed. That is not how God works. He didn’t want the child harmed, and
He didn’t want to grieve Abraham, but He wanted Abraham – and all of us who
come after him – to know without a shadow of a doubt that God will always make
good on His promises, and that we can always count on Him to provide whatever
it is that we need and whatever is the deepest desire of our hearts.
It has not been easy for me these months that are stretching
on with no seeming end in sight. The promise He has made to me opened a hope in
my heart and answered a secret longing that I had hidden from even myself. To
have that desire recognized and nearly be fulfilled has at times made me want
to shut back down again and put that dream back into its hiding place, to let
it die where it is hidden because at times I feel afraid to hope. But then He
comes with a word, with a message, with a sermon, with a dream, He comes in the
way that only He can come. He comes with hope, with joy and with laughter, to
let us know that He has not forgotten us, He is only asking that we wait a
little while longer while He brings that hope and joy and laughter into someone
else’s life.
Blessings,
Jannie Susan
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