Ruck Up

Last year on this day, the Lord did a miracle in my life. He’d been speaking a word to me that was hard to believe and on this day last year He showed me that I could believe. But the promise is still waiting to be fulfilled completely, and there are times when I still doubt that what He said was what He really said or I can even get to the point that I start doubting that He’s spoken to me at all, ever, not just now, but ever. When doubt starts to creep in, we can start to think that we’ve been making everything up all along, that God is not real, that if He is, He doesn’t care about us and our problems and desires and the people and things we care about. But Psalm 138:8 says, “The Lord will perfect that which concerns me,” and why would we ever doubt that word?

But doubts do creep in, and they take hold and take root if we’re not careful and watchful of what can happen in the blink of an eye. A thought comes into your mind, you see something or hear something, or remember something from a time from the past, and you think, this is the same, I’m not walking down that same road again, it’s too painful to be let down, it hurts too much to have my heart broken, so I’m not going to hope, I’m not going to trust, I’m not going to believe. If God is going to do something, then let Him do it, but I’m not going to waste my time if it’s not going to happen.

Those are all the thoughts that run through my mind, no matter how many times the Lord shows me His faithfulness and His love. It’s at times like that when I must remind myself of who He is and what He has already done – it’s at times like that when I need to remember those places and times in my life where He has done the miraculous. I’m a walking testimony of His love and grace, of the miracles He can do in a life, and yet if I don’t remind myself, I can find that I’m walking around thinking I’d be better off back in my old life. That’s exactly what the children of Israel did over and over again, and why a whole generation of them finally were not allowed to enter the Promised Land. They kept saying that they were going to die in the wilderness and they'd be better off back in Egypt, the place where they were miserable and enslaved and oppressed, and at a certain point God had heard enough of their complaints and bad reports, and He simply said, if you’re going to keep saying you’re going to die here in the wilderness then that’s exactly what’s going to happen to you. I sure don’t want to end up like that, so when I get to complaining and doubting, I bring it before God and apologize and ask for His help to get back on track. And He always gives it, always. He’s faithful that way.

I was feeling last night that even though the promises the Lord has made to me are getting closer, I was feeling that they weren’t. Because they hadn’t happened now, I was feeling like they weren’t going to happen at all. What was the basis of those feelings? Nothing whatsoever except for my own unbelief. God spoke a word to me, and I believed it, and whenever I questioned Him and asked for a confirmation, He gave it to me. At one point early on I even told Him that, “you’re going to need to confirm this every step of the way,” and He did. And He’s still doing it too, but I still start doubting and feeling sad and dejected, and then what the heck can God do in my life at that point? If that’s the way I want to feel in spite of what He’s told me over and over again, at some point He’s going to just let me wallow in my own misery until I can pull myself up by my boot straps and get a move on.

I was talking to an Army Captain one day a few years ago about someone I knew who had been in the service many years ago and who was having a hard time in his life now. The Captain said, “There’s a saying we have that sometimes is the thing that people need to hear, ‘Ruck up.’” He explained that meant to get your gear in order and get going, no matter how you were feeling, no matter what was going on to make you not want to do it. You just needed to do it because you needed to. It seemed harsh to me at the time, and I felt very sorry for the people who were dealing with things in their lives and were told to ‘Ruck up,’ but now as I write this that comes back to me and I’m thinking it’s actually good advice. In the context of what God can do in our lives, why not just get our gear together and get going? He’s going to work everything out in our favor, so why not just get a move on?

Of course it’s easier said than done, but it is something that I’m going to remind myself of when I’m feeling weak and low. We are soldiers in God’s army, and we need to remember that, and sometimes emotions need to be put aside so we can see clearly what it is that we need to do.

Reading the word of God can be part of our Rucking Up in the Army of the Lord. Psalm 138 has some great words to revive us, “In the day when I cried out, You answered me, and made me bold with strength in my soul,” (verse 3) “Though the Lord is on high, yet He regards the lowly,” (verse 6) “Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me; You will stretch out Your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and Your right hand will save me.” (verse 7)

With words like that we are all Rucked Up, as long as we believe them. Faith is our shield, and our belief in the word of God is our strength, because He is our strength, as long as we just believe.

Blessings,

Jannie Susan