I had been complaining to the Lord all day yesterday. I
started out the day reading a devotional I get from BibleGateway.com called God’s
Story For My Life that had the title “Picky Eaters,” and used the scripture
from Numbers 11:1-15 when the children of Israel complain to God because they
are tired of eating manna. They want meat, and they complain and complain until
the Lord sends them quail. And He is so angry with them for their complaining that
He sends them so much they get sick on it. When I read that in the morning, I
spent my walk on the way to the train into work repenting of my complaining,
and asking God to forgive me and help me to be grateful. I asked for His help
in praying for a person who has been doing so much to harm me, and I made a
list of blessings in my mind as I walked, thanking God for all that He has
already done for me, for all that I have now that I did not have before, and
for all that I’ve always had even when times are tough in other ways. I have my
health, I have a place to live, I have a job, I have food to eat, I have
friends, I have family. I have lots of beautiful clothes because of the thrift
stores He’s shown me, I’m almost out of debt – a miracle in itself. There may
be things that I want more of or want to be better, there may be things that I
want that He’s promised me that I don’t have right now, but those things that
He’s promised me I know He’s faithful to deliver, and those things that I want
more of and better are on the way.
But even though I had that word in the morning, and even though
I received it and repented and prayed, I still found myself complaining all the
rest of the day, feeling tired and unloved and dissatisfied and forgotten. But
then the sushi happy hour started when I got off the train, and how could I
continue to complain after that? And it was my perfect happy hour too. I don’t
drink much alcohol of any kind any more, not even wine or beer, and the place
that’s been giving away sushi as a promotion has a sushi happy hour on Thursday
and Friday nights at their lounge. I wouldn’t go there even for free sushi
because I’m not about to have a drink, but to get off the train and have sushi
on the sidewalk is perfect on a summer evening. They keep it cold too, and it’s
fresh and top quality. Only God could provide something special like that.
Complaining is like a disease, and it speaks more about lack
of faith than anything else. Sure we have things that go on that we don’t like,
but if we have faith then we know that God is going to sort it out. But when I
find myself complaining it’s because I don’t think God is ever going to sort it
out. I feel like I’m stuck in this mess that I don’t like forever. If it were a
mess of my own making I’d understand, but when it’s coming from somewhere
straight out of hell, or even if it’s more mundane and just someone acting like
a jerk or a promise of God that is taking a long time in coming, even when I
know that God is faithful I can start to think that the mess is more powerful
than He is. My reasoning with God goes something along the lines of “if I haven’t
done anything to deserve this then why is it happening and why don’t You make
it go away?” But who am I to question God? He gave me Job the other day to
remind me of that one, and yet I still question and ask why. Thank God that He’s
patient or else I’d be toast by now.
I also thank God that He didn’t send me so much sushi that I
got sick on it the way the children of Israel got sick on the quail. Romans
8:34 tells us, “Christ Jesus who died – more than that, who was raised to life –
is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.” Thank God for that. Romans 8 is also an encouragement to hold fast to
the truth of God, to be patient because “we know that in all things God works
for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.
For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of His
Son, that He might be the first born among many brothers and sisters. And those
He predestined, He also called; those He called, He also justified; those He
justified, He also glorified.” (Romans 8:28-30). Verse 31-32 continues, “What,
then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be
against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all – how
will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?” Verse 37
tells us, “we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.”
Thank God for His word, because it is life. On my way to the
train yesterday morning as I was asking God to help me pray, I used a scripture
that I didn’t know where it was, and just now as I looked up the passage about
Christ interceding for us, I found it in the same chapter, Romans 8 verses
26-27, “In the same way the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know
what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us through
wordless groans. And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit,
because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of
God.” As I wrote this, I realized that the same chapter was used on Thursday in
another email I had read from BibleGateway.com, The New Testament in 24
Weeks that uses the Voice translation. It’s amazing how God will speak His word
to us, confirm it and confirm it and confirm it, bring it to us each time with
more layers and levels, helping us to grow and hear Him, helping us to get over
ourselves so we don’t get sick on the quail.
It’s not easy to break free of believing that things can’t
work out in supernatural ways. Even when the children of Israel walked through
the Red Sea on dry land and saw Pharaoh’s chariots get swallowed up in the
water behind them they still complained and accused God of abandoning them
every time things seemed like they might not be going their way. But we’d be a
lot happier on a day to day basis if we could just get to that point of knowing
that what God has promised He will do. I know myself that I’d be sleeping a lot
better and having a much more joyful life if I’d just stop trusting in the way
things have always been and allow for the glory of God to be a real presence
for me every moment of every day. If I could just stop complaining and could
start counting my blessings, if I could stop worrying and begin to see His
wonder, things would be much easier all around. It’s hard but it’s not
impossible, and I know that He’ll get me there. With each step of faith He’s
showing me the way, and when I don’t know how to take the next step, He gives me a sushi happy hour to help me keep going.
Blessings,
Jannie Susan 
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