Getting To Yes

When I was born again, God had closed every door in my life except for the one that led to Him. I was in a relationship that had been an unhealthy one from the start, and it had gotten so bad that I was living in a house without heat or hot water in the dead of winter, with holes and gaps in the walls and windows, completely desolate and deserted and abandoned. I was being treated like trash by the man I had loved and trusted and given everything to, and yet I still kept hanging on, why I will never know. It made sense to me at the time, and he did keep me hanging on, making promises and seeming concessions that he’d then renege on and leave me even more bereft and humiliated than before. Friends and family either couldn’t or wouldn’t help me, I had been self-employed for years and all of my jobs had disappeared. I was in tremendous debt, with no way to pay rent and nothing that would in any way recommend me to a landlord. I remember thinking that it would be better to be dead. But somewhere in the midst of that insanity, a door opened up, a narrow door that I could walk through and out into a new life. It was the only door I could choose, and though I didn't know where it was leading, I chose it because I didn’t really want to die, I just didn’t want to live the way I was living any more.

I was thinking about that time last night and wondering why is that we fight with God so much. Why resist those open arms of love? I know the answer, but it doesn’t make sense now that I’m on the other side of it. The answer is simple, we don’t understand who God is and so we don’t understand that what He has to offer is so much better than what we had even at the best of times in our lives. We truly are blind in a way that is different from someone who is blind of sight. Our spiritual blindness has completely blocked any ability to see that what we are hanging onto in our lives is actually causing us to exist like walking dead. We call what we are doing living, but it has no life in it. We are actually in bondage to sin and death, and we are blinded by those ties that hold us back from life. We think we are free and that turning to God means giving up that freedom, when really the only freedom we can ever know is the freedom we have in Christ.

Galatians 5:1 tells us, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” That’s an amazing thought if you’ve come from a life like I’ve had. I’ve always been a free spirit, not going along with the crowd, doing my own thing, bucking the trends – how could I have been a slave? But I know that I was, because I know that I never knew what freedom was until I was born again. I thought I was living a full life, but I was held back from life and enslaved by the very things that I thought were giving me life and freedom. Yes, Christ does ask us to start walking in a new way, and He does have His rules that He lays out for us very clearly. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and love your neighbor as yourself (Luke 10:27). Do not worship other gods (Deuteronomy 6:14). Don’t lie, cheat or steal, don’t covet or commit adultery or murder, don’t bow down to images or use the Lord’s name in vain, honor your mother and your father (Deuteronomy 5:6-21). Sounds to me like rules for anyone to live a good life, so what’s the problem when He invites us to come to Him and live in freedom with Him for all eternity?

The problem is that we don’t know who He is. Even though He’s been very careful to reveal Himself through all of creation (Romans 1:20), and “The Heavens declare the glory of God, the skies declare the work of His hands,” (Psalm 19:1), we still don’t understand who He is until that moment that the scales are taken off our eyes and we finally begin to understand the fullness and the glory and the love and mercy of a God who wants everyone to live in joy, love and peace. The Declaration of Independence talks about the right of people to enjoy “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” That’s what God wants for us, and what He can give to us, if we can only let him.

But walking with God does mean giving some things up. It means letting go of the old ways we are used to doing things and learning something new. It means forgiving people who have wronged us, loving people who have betrayed us, praying for people who have hurt us (Matthew 5:44). It means not doing anything out of selfish pride or ambition and holding others in higher esteem than ourselves (Philippians 2:3). It means being kind and patient, loving, joyful, peaceful, full of goodness, faithfulness and gentleness, and having self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). But the good news of what God asks of us is that He helps us all along the way. When we say yes to Jesus, we receive the Holy Spirit who comes to live with us to be our guide and our counselor, our comforter and teacher. And we have Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith (Hebrews 12:2), to help us get to where He is asking us to go.

When I look back on all those years ago when I kept saying no to God, I think what a fool I was. How much I fought Him, and how much I resisted, and how great was His faithfulness to keep coming after me. When all those doors shut and there was only one that opened, I thank God that I walked through it. We always have the choice because He will never force us to do anything, and I thank God that I finally made the choice to say yes.

Blessings,

Jannie Susan