All The Way Home

There was a woman in one of my classes yesterday who came to sit in. She hadn’t attended yet, and I teach in a series of classes that run for eight weeks. We’re on the fifth week, but I always let people sit in if they want to, though I never know if it’s helpful to them or not when they come later into the weeks because I have to teach in a set curriculum and there isn’t much time for review of all of the other weeks of information in class time. She was very quiet the whole time, and when it came time to eat the meal we prepared – we always prepare a meal together – she said she only wanted a very small amount. She was a very small woman, so it could have been because she normally doesn’t eat very much, but I had a feeling that she was just trying to be polite and not greedy, and so I asked if she wanted a second helping and at first she said no, but then when she saw that there was enough, she had more. It was a whole wheat pasta and vegetable dish, so I felt good that she was getting some fresh and healthy vegetables and whole grains.

At the end of the class, I sat and talked with her for a bit while we finished our meal together, and she asked if she could come again next week because she had enjoyed it so much. She is from Colombia, and her first language is Spanish. I understand Spanish a little bit – I used to speak it well, but I don’t use it often enough to really be able to speak it now and it takes me a while to understand people sometimes, especially if they’re speaking quickly or in a dialect or slang. But we communicated well, and I told her the dish I was planning to bring for us to make the next week that has pumpkin in it or squash or in Spanish it’s called calabaza, and when I said that we got to talking about different kinds of Latin American food. She was telling me how expensive things were for her to buy because of the neighborhood she lives in and she can’t travel very far because she is small and uses a cane. She also talked about the apartment she lives in which is a fifth floor walk up, and she said that it’s difficult for her to climb the stairs and that she’s applied for other housing but it takes very long. That I know is true, because New York City housing is a royal pain. I moved out to where I live now because it just wasn’t possible for me to find anywhere affordable any more.  I talked with her about different ideas like food pantries and soup kitchens and I realized that she didn’t have anyone helping her to find services. She’s a Senior Citizen, and there are services available to her through the organization where I was teaching, and when I let her know that, she had never heard that before. So I walked with her out to the front desk and introduced her to one of the staff members who I know there, and she now has an appointment to meet with a social worker next week.

So  many times I wonder if the work I am doing is helping anyone at all – and then something like that happens. People always tell me that I’m helping them, but there is so much need and I always feel like the little I have to give is just not enough. But there is something supernatural that happens when we are working for God. He takes that little bit and turns it into something really big.

Yesterday’s verse of the day from the Voice translation that I receive through BibleGateway.com was Proverbs 19:17, “Whoever cares for the poor makes a loan to the Eternal; such kindness will be repaid in full and with interest.” I wasn’t really thinking about that at all when I was helping this woman – that is the glory of God. When we are walking with Him and those moments come, He takes over and all we have to do is allow Him to lead us. I could have told that woman that she couldn’t join the class at this late a date, or I could have ignored her, or I could have just figured that we couldn’t communicate and so why bother. I could have done a lot of things, but what I did I honestly can’t take credit for. I just followed what God put in my heart to do. As I was on my way home, that verse came back into my mind, and I started to have a conversation with God about all of the things that I do want. I started to tell Him that I was oh, so very tired, that my bags were heavy and my heart was heavy too. I started to ask Him how much longer I would have to wait for my blessing that He has promised me, and then into my Spirit came a still small voice that reminded me that I have so much to be thankful for. When that voice came I apologized for my feelings of ungratefulness, and then something very strange happened. The Lord started to speak encouragement to me about the promises He has made. He started to remind me of the words He had spoken, and that just recently He has been telling me that things will be happening very quickly when they happen and that I need to be ready. God is always giving me encouragement when I need it, but the reason that was strange is that it came after I apologized for being ungrateful. After I had recognized the other promises that He has made have all come true. After I had recognized that everything He has put on my heart He has fulfilled. After I had recognized how blessed I am and how undeserving of those blessings.

God’s timing is always perfect, and even though I want what He has promised to me now, I know in my heart that I am still not ready. There are still things that need to happen in my life and in my own heart and mind and spirit before I will be ready to walk in the blessing that He has promised me. Until then, I have many blessings to be thankful for, and many things to be joyful about. When I remember that I can know that He’s brought me this far and He won’t leave me here, He’ll take me all the way home.

Blessings,

Jannie Susan